The flaws I see in the people I love—the pure, complete lack of perfection, the conditional love they present to me—I thank God for. If I hadn’t learned of the inadequacy of people, especially the people who mean the most to me—the ones who I want to approve of me and love me for who I am— maybe I wouldn't have appreciated BEAUTIFUL grace of the Lord as much as I did today.
It has shown me how He loves. Not like my parents. They love me more than anyone in this whole world has ever loved me. But they will never, ever come close to the perfect love of God. My friends have shown me so much love. Love that has gotten me through these past four years of searching and longing, giving me a reason to live. Not them, but Jesus. Learning how to glorify Him with my life has been rough, to say the least. Doubts have prevailed, still to this day. But still He loves.
To me, love means complete acceptance no matter what. I don’t think any human being is capable of complete love. I think those who are closest to the Lord are able to love the most. But even those people have sinned. They continue to sin, and sin is the opposite of love. Sin is pride, and love cannot be prideful. Love cannot put one’s own wellbeing over the one’s whom he loves, can it? Jesus loved. On the cross, and here still, today. His love is unmatchable, because His love is blameless and untainted. Is it our responsibility to learn how to love the best we can?
Can we love without the love of Christ? What do we call that emotion, if not love? Admiration? Endorsement? I confuse my desire to be the best that I can be with being the funniest or prettiest or most mysterious girl that just that right kind of boy has ever met. And then I blame myself (and my lack of these attributes) when his attention wanders. I shuffle my iPod and expect the next song to tell me how I should be feeling about it. That’s dumber than a magic eight ball.
The world has slowly backed away from God, turning itself towards man to bring approval. The search for Christ has left the souls and we've replaced it by seeking the drought-laden kiddie-pool of appreciation which only has room for the one-half of one percent that is deemed fit. We don’t all have the same idea of who fits this cream of the crop crowd, but we all see them the same. The ones who are perfectly who we want to be. For me, it’s a girl who, most importantly, loves the Lord. Who never doubts His existence or the way she believes in Him. She stands up for the Truth, because she knows exactly what that is. She treats every man like a brother in Christ, not as a potential mate. She completely trusts God for that. She, of course, is beautiful. And not in her own way. In everybody’s way. And she makes friends with everyone she knows. She’s not afraid of anything, and carries the humility blanket everywhere she goes. She is honest with herself, and accepts nothing but the best. She is gentle and genuine. Never, ever lies. She doesn’t play games, and never falls victim to them either. She doesn’t lose.
This girl will never exist. But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and your salvation all the day, for I do not know their limits. I will go in the strength of the Lord God; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only.
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